Bye 2

A rising market lifts all boats and -- since importance of social networks is inverse-proportional to one's bank account -- deflates relationships. As in any bear market, the bear market in social networks means that the beta-trades -- the more iffy, more junky, more dangerous, more speculative stuff -- falls more precipitously than the alpha stuff; and some can now be gotten rid of at no expense at all.

I have been getting rid of -- left and right.

Here is a fragment of a letter to an acquaintance of twenty years -- twenty years! -- American, of course, how else -- who has refused to hold my mail presumably because doing so would expose her to all sorts of legal liabilities (how does it feel to live in a police state?):

As I see it, we are either Friends (朋友) or we are nothing. As my Friend, you would know that when I ask you a favor and say that this is very important to me and that you must help me, then I really do mean it - and there is no need to find out why; and also you would know that as your Friend I would not ask you to do anything that could possibly expose you to any sort of liability as a result of doing so. Further, as my Friend, you would do as asked immediately, no questions asked. But none of the three applies here, which means to me that we are not Friends but -- friends, which is an American category, and a very cheap one at that: tens of thousands of friends can be had by merely signing up on Facebook. I have never wanted to have friends, because friends are a useless waste of time; and if anything has changed in my life in the last twenty years it is that I want to have friends even less now; and since you are clearly only my friend, not my Friend, then, I am afraid, this is the end of the road for us, and a much belated one at that.

I shall not be calling you on August 7th, or any other August. Have a nice day.

Strong words?

Not as strong as the offense. The woman is half-Asian, was raised in Korea, a Confucian nation par excellence, and speaks Chinese fluently. It is impossible for her not to understand what 朋友 means. Which means that she knows what it means but excludes me from the category. Severing all ties is the least punishment she deserves for having misled me to think otherwise.

*

Facebook is an interesting case. Facebook -- as i understand it -- is where one signs up in pursuit of people who agree to be one's "friends"; there is a kind of competition for having the largest number of friends. ("I don't quite remember who he is, but he is my friend.")

Bill Gates has recently tried it and given up: "Ten thousand people wanted to be my friend," he confessed, "and I found myself asking myself: do I know this person? do I know this person?"
Note the repeat of the question. Do you know why he repeated it? He repeated it because he was actually going to say: "do I know this person? do I want to know this person?" but as he began to mouth the second sentence he realized that it would be perceived in America -- the land of friends -- as not nice: an American wants to be nice and friendly (i.e. friends) to all; to refuse to be friends with anyone is deemed a hostile act; Bill Gates has enough image problems as it is; he is too smart to offend the official party line, even if he does not practice it himself.

But clearly, Bill Gates did not want to be friends with the ten thousanf Facebookers who accosted him; and -- why? -- could it be possible? -- being smart as he is -- could it be that he did not want to be friends with them because he realized that there was no benefit to having "friends"?

Which makes an interesting point about the millions upon millions who sign up for Facebook in prusuit of that very asset -- "friends"; they are fools chasing after fools' gold. It has always been thus: the rich getting richer and the poor staying poor. For a reason, I might add: clearly, the poor are not especially smart.

A friend -- not a Friend -- and a friend no more (see Bye 1) did ask when I will finally get on Facebook. I said never.