Gang rape

There were 12 of them, well fed, strong, aggressive. She was much smaller than the rest of them; and had been hurt – one of her wings drooped down, perhaps it was broken. They chased her into a corner and took turns grabbing her by the neck with their beaks and raping her. The sexual act in the species is especially appalling: the male jumps upon the female’s back with his talons and crushes her to the ground. Perhaps the worst of it was the miserable, haggard old male, dull-colored and bald who tried to rape her after all the others have had their way and left. She backed into a corner and fought back with the remnants of her strength. The geezer was too weak to force his way, so he tried a different tack: backed off and attempted the courtship dance, turning around in circles, and dragging his sparse tail on the ground cooing. Unsurprisingly, it didn’t work and, giving up, abruptly he just flew off, leaving her there, in the corner, exhausted and trembling. That they were pigeons, not men, made the spectacle no less revolting. One also got a pretty good impression that the female was terrified and – humiliated.

Some years ago a report of rape among ducks – drakes apparently are not shy about using the advantage their size gives them – caused an uproar of protests from the feminist lobby about presumed “anthropomorphizing” of animal behavior. I suppose the feminists were worried that evolutionary psychologists might conclude that rape, being universal in nature, is therefore natural, that is to say, commendable. The feminists, who tend to be into natural diets and natural healing, were mistaken. Evolutionary psychologists are not inclined to think natural behavior particularly admirable. There are hardly any natural food enthusiasts among them.

I had ordered Mustafa to feed the pigeons in response to a dire famine. That was occasioned, as most famines are (says Amartya Sen) by government mismanagement. In an effort to keep Piazza San Marco clean, and to get rid of some abuses – apparently the commotion of bird-feeding was taken advantage of by petty thieves – the city banned the selling of bird feed there. The sellers of birdseed were all up in arms, but eventually were forced to look for other tourist bamboozling tricks. The real losers were, of course, the pigeons: for days they swooned around the Piazza, exhausted, forlorn, in daze. You could read the disbelief on their faces: what, no food? No food?

So we began to put out leftovers of breakfast for them.

The feeding soon became an opportunity for another observation of ornithological anthropomorphism: the event was quickly dominated by one particularly pushy and aggressive pigeon who attacked other pigeons whenever they dared to approach. He either rammed them with his huge chest at full speed, or grabbed the back of their necks with his beak and shoved them around. Having chased them away, he’d then stride the ground proud, among the scattered food, carelessly pecking at it here or there – letting it fall out of his beak, or just throwing it up in the air, while his hungry companions sat around and watched with chagrin.

In school I had known boys just like that.

So, today, I have ordered Mustafa to stop feeding the pigeons. I keep remembering Kurtz’s words: “Exterminate them all!”

Apparently the city is thinking about it.