Being outcompeted by dull fellows

"I am sorry I cannot be different for you," I said. "But not really sorry, for if I were different, you wouldn't want me."

"That's my fate", she said. "I always seem to fall for guys like you."

Of course it isn't her fate, but that of all women. All women fall for fellows like me. It's just that they do not stay fallen for long. Sooner or later they tire of us exciting, interesting types and settle down with the newspaper and slippers type -- and begin to breed. In the last 4 years 3 out of my 4 ex-girlfriends got pregnant by someone else within a short time of breaking up with me. Yvette commented: you are like the Holy Spirit, you inseminate women without even being present.

Why did these girls do that? The answer is that -- there was something concrete in that fellow. A house, a picket fence, a monthly check, a pension plan: he was boring but reliable; in other words, a good bet for breeding.

I used to think it unjust that such dull fellows could so easily out-compete me, but now no longer do: the truth is I am glad the girls, having once fallen, then get up and go on: it saves me the trouble of telling them off. In the end, being dumped is better than dumping: there is no guilt. They spare my feelings by leaving. I owe them thanks.

PS

Perhaps what is really going on here is this: perhaps the girlfriends set out needing to reproduce and find in me an attractive prospect; though I tell them right out that I am not a breeding bull, perhaps they assume that they can change me (as do the wives of alcoholics, kleptomaniacs, gamblers and so forth, invariably with the same outcome); but in time they figure the error of their ways, leave, and conceive as per nature's plan with someone else who happens to be to hand. I am glad for both: their naivety -- and my ability to resist their efforts at conversion. Together they make for an interesting love life.