You've read Tschaikovsky?

Nahedeh expresses her helplessness at conversation with me by guessing (correctly) the sort of cutting remarks I might make about her recent cultural adventures (which are really quite alright as far as intelectual adventures go: Travels with Charlie, Moll Flanders, even if I might indeed make cutting remarks about them).

Nahdeh's problem ("you might not like what I am reading") reminds me of an old Russian joke about a sexual education course in which men are encouraged to talk to their wives first. Vanya is much impressed. He returns home and says to Natasha: You read Pushkin? Yes, she answers. Nu ladno, he continues. And you heard Tschaikovski? Yes, she answers. Nu, tak rozdyevaysa, he says. ("Well, in that case, strip").

Nahedeh imagines that I judge her intellectual achievement by the sort of stuff she consumes; while the point is not what she consumes but what she has to say about it from herself. One reads something, then digests it, then uses it as a spring-board for his own ideas. Conversation about the life of the mind cannot be just a recitation of what we are reading; or its contents; it must be about how we respond to these things. Is it possible that Nahedeh, having read Moll Flanders, can only say "I like it" or "I don't like it"? Is saying "I have read Moll Flanders lately", then perhaps adding quickly, "but I have not liked it moralizing tone" all she can manage?

No wonder she feels helpless trying to converse with me. She knows she doesn't measure up, but does not realize how or why. (It is a terrible feeling; I often have it when playing bridge).

I tried to explain to her that I do not feel lonely. That I can perfectly well dumb down my talk to the level of my interlocutors, and be liked for it, but that this does nothing to assuage the great hunger of for a challenging intellectual companionship. I do not think I have managed to get the idea across to her.

I should add than Nahedeh is not stupid. She speaks five languages indifferently and holds an advanced degree in engineering. Yet, her conversation skills are near zero; and, quite possibly the underlying apparatus necessary for an interesting conversation is lacking. The ability to master five languages is not in any way related to the skills necessary to think independently and to dress the said thoughts in interesting garb.